All about me,love,hates,music and the sky.

All about love,hates,places,music and what keeps me going

Happy Halloween! :)

oh yar..
i heard my best friend a.k.a my brother's girlfriend is going perth next year to further her studies.
i cant help but feel so sad.
maybe its this year lar..everybody's busy with big exams like Os and As, and everyone's getting themselves another partner..
it just makes me feel lonely somehow.
uhuh i dono.. but yar. the stupid feeling's there.
then now my best friend has to break to me this news =X
although i cant do anything to make her stay.. but really hope she wont leave.. cos'll just mean 3 years of separation. =X

have you ever slept on a person's shoulder on the bus by accident before?
hahaha.
i almost.. almost slept on a fat smelly uncle's shoulders!
why cant it be a handsome young man!
hahaha kidding.. but it was long since i fell asleep on the bus..
the very last time i slept on a person's shoulders was years ago.. like when i was in sec 2? once on a lady and once on a young guy.
hahah.
it's nice sleeping on a bus!

anyways..
was at my friends party on saturday..
had a rather interesting chat with my girls.
i just realised there was quite a number of couples popping up in church..so i was kinda teasing them.
and we were talking about how the two of them met and so on..
one of the sisters told us that her boyfriend actually woo-ed her for 2years.
omg.
even though she's not really interested at first.. but got touched by his preserverance.
and they are together for 3years..so sweet right.

to me.. its really nice to have this kinda relationship lar..
but i thought..
if at first you really dont like that guy(aka no feelings,chemistry etc.).. might as well just end the whole woo-ing thing..
to me it's just a waste of time and energy.
no interest is really no interest.. no matter what that person do.. its no use to me.
preserverance? maybe not for me.
haha. cos that guy will just piss me off even when he dint do anything..
its like everything's wrong when a person you dont like appear infront of you.


ohwell.. its just randomness. but interesting talk bout relationships with the girls =)


oh man. i have transcription test tml..
*faints*

never drink coffee on a empty stomach.

i almost taste the flavour of death today.
haha might sound abit too much.. but i really felt like dying today, just cos i drank coffee on an empty stomach tis afternoon.
was on my way back to school to do assignments(again) and i was feeling really sleepy so i thought i go get a cup of coffee to wake me up since the assignment i'm gonna do's gonna take awhile to finish.
but guess what.
when i entered the room.. i see Justin.
which means.. no work can be done today =X
and he again had that "why are u in school" kind of face.
lol.
it just so happen that i always see him in school almost everyday, even on the days where i dont have his lessons.
is that a good thing or bad thing? =X

anyways. i just walked off when i knew they had recording in the afternoon.
practically no hope of getting my stuff done.

and so i walked and walked.
first time i felt so lost, alone.
usually i'll have some place to go and stuff like that..
but this time, really.
i dont why. and the feeling feels like shit.

so i just walked around bugis, and yar i found a place to go ultimately.

halfway home. i was feeling v bad.
like wanna puke but cant puke. and giddy all over, and having migrain.
that feeling.. really. eeew.
then i realise.
its the coffee.
=X
the journey home was a killer man.
imagine taking a 45mins ride home by bus, and feelin so helpless with yourself.
i cant do anything.. like even when i open my eyes, everything's just like whirling.
the only thing i could do is pray, and wish i'll reach home in no time =X
the first time i really really felt that.. going back heaven was the only i wanted
hahaha. stupid wish but.. yar.

so pls remind me not to ever drink coffee on an empty stomach cos it feels really shitty.

and i saw Mr Darren Keng today! =)
quite happy cos haven seen him since he entered JC.
All the Best to him, and everyone else taking Alevel in a few days time..
Jiayou! =)
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i suddenly feel like i'm gonna have a mental breakdown soon.
it feels so so REAL today.
like in one minute i have so many things running thru my head.
i kept falling into a 'i've got so many things to do, i cant handle them! oh no i'm going crazy" kind of mental stress, and i kept having to pull myself back to time and stop thinking so much.

i just realise i'm worrying over so much things..
homeworks,
how people are looking at me,
money,
things i wanna get,
my future,
church stuff,
friends..
emotions..

alot alot of things just keep running thru.. and i cant really control these stuff.
i just keep thinking i'm doing badly in everything, and i dont have confidence in myself.. and i keep comparing myself with another!
OMG. all this stuff is really piling up inside my brain and i think i'm gonna breakdown.

i think i really need a good rest.
although people always see that i'm sot sot out there, always happy-go-lucky kind..
in fact, i just realise i'm not like that.
its kinda like.. i'm not always so happy as i seem to be.
i have my things to worry about, some things that... only i'll kinda understand it only by myself.

OH NO.
i really think i'm going crazy.
maybe you'll see me disappearing from school soon because i went crazy. seriously crazy..

i just cant stop worry about my figure, my grades, my financial problems. EVERYTHING.
=X

i know its bad.
so Pray for me ok =)


WHY CANT I JUST LEAD A SIMPLE LIFE!
=(


now i cant really relate to my girlfriend in school and feel how she felt.
somethings..sometimes.. there's only you yourself to overcome and nobody else can help you.
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guys in my class kept asking me why we girls always so 'guai' to attend class, take notes, go back to school practically everyday to do work even though there's no class..
but they never realise that..
being at the bottom of the pit is something you have to struggle with.. and as a matter of fact they dont feel it because obviously they're at the better end, exposed to all the technical stuff alot earlier then me/us.. and it just takes so little of them to understand those things.
and face it, music can be a rather guy domineering industry.. just because they're good at it.

and we HAVE LIFE for goodness sake.
you know how much work we have to put in just to get to their level?
they dont understand the struggles and stress we face everyday..
just taking the reggaeton assignment for example.
i used practically 2 weeks to get it satisfied-ly done, while some just use 30mins.
its like the damn shitty, in-your-face feeling that.. we're stupid.
seriously. i do feel like that sometimes..
why they only use such short time to get stuff done whereas i need so much time and effort.

maybe i just cant compare like that.. but lookin at other stuff, we're indeed a level lower then the guys.
like livesounding.
if u put just the girls at the concert alone doing live sound(eg. setting up mixer, cables, speakers etc.) on our own..
its either we breakdown mentally or screw the whole concert up.

so really.. stop asking why we're always back in school to do work or asking why are we so 'hardworking'..
because reason being..
we or rather I, need to put in so so so much effort to get to the level that they are at.. and to keep having the energy to catch up and move on.
to know what they know.. do what they can do..
seriously lar.. the people in our class dont understand why and i dont think they wanna understand why..
and i really cant bear to skip classes since we're already having so little classes and so many assignments..
i just dont understand why people keep complaining about the little classes we're having, and still chooses to skip them.
contradicting themselves.


its a level where they wont understand why.


oh wells.
enough of my complains.
my brain's not functioning well today..
and i just need to get some things off my chest.

i was up on secret garden this morning cos i was super early in school for class..
it wasnt out of emo-ness or what.. just feel like going up there.
and it's really v nice when you're alone there in the morning..
its really calm and keeps you away from the noisy city.

anyways. i'm just here to state my random wish.
hahaha.
it'll be a wish come true if i was given a suprise party up there in a month's time.
maybe i've watched too much drama serials and stuff like that to give me the illusion that having a party on a high place looks really cool.
haha but it'll really be a wish come true! =D

done.
=)

Ask and It Shall be Given, right? =D

hasnt been blogging perhaps because the 'blog bug' left me.
and i was pretty busy the past few days getting in and out of spore.. and in and out of school doing livesound/assignments.
must say i'm pretty satisfied with the stuff i've learned the past few days while doing live sound with my classmates. and i'm happy with my work cos the effort i put in finally paid off. although it still far from perfect, but i'm satisfied enough =)

well. good stuff are worth waiting for!
oppsy thats random.

i suddenly miss work alot.
well. maybe more of the money part.
because i'm starting to miss laopa, uncle philip and miss tan.
i just heard laopa's in korea building his rig.
lol. out of no where i just missed them alot =X
december! come faster cann!

and i'm missing supper at simpang!
omg. why am i missing stuff so much!
SUPPER SOON.. PLEASE?



soorry. that wasnt really me =P
oh wells lets talk about malaysia..
the trip there wasss.... LONGG.
because we made a detour back to my house simply cos i took the wrong passport out of my house. how dumb can i get right.
so.. we are suppose to reach m'sia at 9plus.. but because of this 'accident' we reached there about an hour later..
=X thank God Teacher Guocai is a nice guy.. =)

so.. we had service and all.
and i really liked the youngsters there..
they're so.. innocent and outgoing not like spore kids.
and i like their house..
its super duper huge larrrr!
and they lead really simple kampung lifestyle.
i love them =)

its the first time i was touched by prayers..
so. yea.. i strongly believed that prayers are amazing stuff.


okay i dono what i'm typing cos i'm really tired after few days of 'not enough sleep' since the day i started my raggaeton assignment.
i sleep like.. what 5hrs on average?
boy. worst then working man seriously.
and i'm practically stoneing in class everyday, and dreaming of weird stuff.
like just yesterday i dreamt of my lecturer justin getting married to my aunt.
omg. how weird can it get!
oh well take it as a 'look into the future' since such stuff dont happen by chancee.

and toffees rock man!

statement of the day: Ask and it Shall be Given (hahaha inside joke!)

If Love was a bar of notes...... =)



OMG guess how many people are talking to me on msn now


10 people.


i nearly died replying to all...


=X







been in school the past few days.


glad i touched the mixer and helped out with the sound! yay, and teddy promise to teach me the stuff tmll =D


been sleeping at 1am and waking up a like.. 7am in the morning?


guess i'm suffering from insomia or something like that =X


cos once again.. i'm not addicted to sleeping like a pig anymore..


ahhh i want my beauty sleep!


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we found our secret garden in school! yay. might be going there sometime soon =)


hahahha! i accidentally found the secret garden in my school and i'm soooo excited bout it.


will only disclose to whoever is close cos thats really some place wheree i wanna keep a secret about and i simply love the quietness there.


SUPER NICE =D
our beautiful secret garden! =)

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guys in my class are disappointing me more and more each day.


just like how one of them simply keep pissing me off with his attitude.


he better watch out.


hahaha kidding lar.


i very nice one okay!



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its good to talk to seniors in school because they always tip you out on the best bargains and best deals u can ever have.



just like how my senior thought me how to use another free program instead of using our school programs..



and how one of them actually helped me out with my beats for one of my compositions!



yay. senior rocks =)


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someone actually messaged me these stuff on friendster:







1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..



2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.



3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.



4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.



5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.



6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with y our smile.



7. To the world you may be one person, out to one person you may be the world.



8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.



9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.



10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.



11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.



12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.



13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.



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i'm addicted to this song!
Better that we break- Maroon 5

I never knew perfection
tilI heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that
I’m insane
The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word it should say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break
So you sitting all alone
You’re fragile and you’re cold, but that’s all right

Life these days is getting rough
They’ve knocked you down and beat you up
But it’s just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break, baby

=)

damn nice!
goodnights =)

Homework are driving me nuts!!!
NUTSNUTSNUTSNUTS!!

OMG i hate nuts by the way.

and we're suppose to go back school apparently everyday cos we need to watch the performance.
ZZZ. and i tot no need go back school this week!
and apparently PM and Justin bluff us!!
ee. cheatss.

by the way.. i'm high on drugs now..
so. =X


I HATE HOMEWORKSSs!!

i suddenly feel that death is such a horrifying thingg.

and my life revolves around randomness.


lols.
my butt hurts lar!
and i cannot stand properly today cos of the jab.
yea i got another 2 more jabs today from the doc.. while i'm already suffering pain from the ones i had yesterday.
eeeks.
i dont wanna have butt pain for 2 more days cos i cant sleep on sides =X

well.
at least work was rather fun today..
cos i manage to sell like 3-5 pendants.. and thats alot of stuff compared to last tuesdayy.
and i learned how to use the pilers!
omg its hard stuff man.
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hope i dont go back to school everyday cos of homework!
because i only need to go back school on friday.
wahahaha.
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visit this website my friend set up
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although price abit steep, its all real and imported from overseas!
anddd...
i can ask help you guys ask for discounts =)
msn, sms me if you're interested!
Price negotiable! =)
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i was right.
lucky i never spend time doing my homework yesterday.. because we dint actually need to submit it today.
yay.
i'm smart =D

EEEkss.
the doctor just gave me two jabs..
and i need to go back for another one tomorrow morning.
omggg.
am i that serious?
i guess i better go back to heaven soon.
lol.


oh yar.
i saw someone 'chu bin' today..
looks scary although i have always been to church bro/sis's wake.
just remind me of how short life is.

=)

i actually shouted at my brother once again.
because i'm freaking stress out with my homework and he keeps sitting in front of the computer not moving his ass.

i'm giving up on my homework for once because..

1) i cant find any sources for it
2) i have serious bad mood tonight, so stop pissing me off
3) i'm really sick this time.. i think i'm running a fever cos i'm having infections once again.
oh wells.

LIFE.


I NEED THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.
just push me down some 20 storey building and die.


ARHGGG.
why am i so freaking stress up!!

steal the laughter and robs the smile..
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our term 2 officially started today.. and boy. interesting week we have.
first time i see classmates battling together in c301, doing max patcher.
god.

haha. and last week of break isnt really any break at all, cos i'm practically back in school 2/3 of the time! =X
but i realise that.
my classmates do like junk food like me.
pocky,green tea, maltesers, chocolates. omggg.
junk food rocks larh!
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stress people really makes the relaxed people tense also!!
my friend's stress-ness is making me stress also.
i dono for what.
and stress is a thing u cant see, but you can feel, and it makes you old and kills millions of your braincells!!
so dont be stress lasalle-ians.
i know there're loads of assignments waiting for us.. but just calm down and we'll conquer them one by one =)

i know no-one's gonna see this but.. just post lar.
what if someone sees this and got motivated right!?
it feels best when someone is fighting with you..
at least, that's for my case.
=)
smile!!
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oh yar.
i forgot to mention.
work starts tomorrow!
although i dono how am i gonna cope with work,studies,church,and homework..
but i have faith god's gonna guide me through it!
hope i can cope it well lar.. if not i might just contract depression and die
haha.
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i'm on pills tonight and i'm feeling the drowsiness in me! omgggggggg.


i believe that..
Stress is the ultimate emotion that can make a person go crazy.

i hate..
a lagging computer, loads of homework, and rainy days-only when i'm outside.

i think i dont need to explain the first two factors.
but rainy days. omg.
i love rainy days.. but not on the days where i'm rushing to school!!

today i was almost late, cos i waited 15mins for bus 66 but it dint come!!
so i took alternate ways and tried to get to enous mrt station.
when i was halfway there, the sky cried so much!
as in.. it started to rain damn heavily.
i had the -__-''' face loh.
so i alighted and rain got heavier!!
so i was forced to run all the way to the train station man..
zzzzz. when i entered the train everybody was staring at me lar!
cos maybe i was looking the wettest in the whole train.
mei you tong qing xin!! never give me pity faces, only mocking ones.
haha. talking crap
but i was super wet and cold when i reached school.. and was laughed at by one of my friends =X
my jeans and neckerman sandals was wet like... i dono. Wet like WET!
haha.
z. i better dry up my sandals before i wear them again if not it'll end up like my previous charles and keith sandals- Ugly and un-lookable =X

anyways. i'm half done for my homework!
phew. i finally learned the lesson of 'distant elephant!'
at least i wont be struggling with my work for once!
good job elim lews!
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tell me it's all an illusion*
and i say again.
Do not take things for granted, really!



Loads of Pocky and strawberry milk for me! =)

Statement of the day: if people want to think what they think of me... so be it.

haha. just when i'm having an emo and weird feeling night..
guys are telling me bout their relationship stuff.
haha.weird but cute.
i dont get guy friends coming up to me and telling me about their past.. so its rather interesting to know.
and i think God rocks.
HE did make me happy =)

and!
Prayers is so real man.

i was praying that i could get a part time job near my school, and my friend rang me up.
although its not a confirmed job, but still. it's amazing man.
and my condition is really better. maybe my years of wishing(and praying) was really heard by God =D


God is sooo GREAT =)

jack me and ice cream!

its finally the beginning of a break for me this week.
and guess what.

my friend is pissing me off with homeworks!
whatthehell!
he's like keep asking me why we dont have this homework and all that stuff.
and i feel like telling him to go away!
=X
i know i have bad attitudess this few days but really lar.
give me a break =XXX

i had enough of assignments for this few days and i need a quiet msn-ing without talking bout homeworks!!
zzz.
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okay. enough about work.

i went simpang bedok for supper yesterdayyy.
and
The Supper Club rocks lar!
they serve really nice food with affordable prices!
lols..
shall have supper with my friends soon!
its super fun =)

we dotn always go simpang to eat prata only lohh.
they have so many other varieties there.
its like we dont only go bedok 85 to eat ba chor mee?
the western, oh lua(fried oysters),hokkien mee, chicken wings, ah balling, desert stall.. blah blah!
okay. i'm soo hungry now!
hehehee.
=b

Miss Lecturer Lew =) FYI, i miss my old hair! =X


trying to figure out that MaxMSP thingyy.



caught in the act of stoneing..


smile!

i nearly forgot this

Happy Children's Day!!!

and i heard the bell of 12pm from a church today!! =)


Chocolate is the best thing to have when Elim feels very stressed =D

i saw Yonglin on "Hey Gorgeous" just now!
he's still looking good, and i think his trumpet-ing skills improve alot loh!

i was back in school to do my homework although it's a one week break =X
z.
okay lar.. at least i got some stuff done.
had a suprise visit by joseph! cos he wanna check out my school, so i had to bring him around.
haha. been a month since i met him for the under-age party at dxo =)
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anyways!
me and ursula saw 2 celebrity AGAIN!
haha. i just realise every month we'll see at least 1 or two celebrity..
and we saw two shuai ges' today while going home.

err. perhaps not the first one.. cos he's tis DJ who worked in 933FM previously.. then he switched jobs to hosting, then now teaching chinese.
another one guy appeared on the recent(okay maybe not so recent) drama serials with bryan wong, rui en, tay ping hui and huang wen yong. he was the youngest brother of that family.
he's shuai can!
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oh yar!
justin play cheattt!
he wanted us to watch this protools dvd from chapter 12-22, and do a write up on it.. thats why i'm in school today to do this homework..
then i just receive this new assignment which says we're suppose to watch from chapters1-11!
whatthehell!
is that a typo or its a different assignment or what!@
zz lar.
wanna kill him sia.

PLAY CHEAT!

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